Though these problems can exist in anyone, it is easy to believe that they only occur in families with little education or social status or in families and communities that are more inclined to delve into drugs and alcohol, gambling and immorality.
It is hard to wrap the mind around horrible behavior toward children in homes that are wealthy or religious or that have an outward appearance of “normalcy”. This concept cannot be further from the truth. Dysfunctional behavior can occur regardless of social status or educational levels. The secrets held tightly can occur in any family and in any neighborhood.
Add before Abuse occur
Abuse occurs because the abusers believe their secret is safe! While occasionally the abusers believe that they were not at fault for anything that happened, they too need to keep the lid on the events that happened. Sometimes they feign
innocence and other times they fail to see the “elephant in the living room”. But always they will want to keep the discussion about those times non-existent. They will do almost anything to deny or forget completely the events but they will always want to keep the discussion quiet. In the case of my Mother, I know she was certain that she was smart enough to dance around any issue and intellectually confound anyone wanting to question anything in her life.
Abusers make sure that no one will talk about the subject. They do this through intimidation and fear. Abusers never take responsibility for their actions. It is always someone else’s fault. The quote from Lord Acton applies so well here. “Power tends to corrupt. Absolute power corrupts absolutely”. All we need to do to verify this statement is to read the newspaper and we read of scandals by executives and politicians and entertainers. These people are admired and many are role models, yet inside they have strong dysfunctional issues. No one is immune.
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